Oaks and Reeds

One of our colleagues had planned an afternoon mountain biking with his wife and teenage family. He had studied and planned the afternoon with his son but when they got to the trail they found it closed. Our colleague suggested they bike up the road to the top of the hill and see what was there, to which the teenage son replied: “we don’t know where it’s going. What’s the point? The whole day is ruined now. We may as well go home.”

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Hide or seek?

In the Challenge of Change Profile we have a scale called avoidance coping, which is described as the ostrich principle for dealing with issues – stick your head in the sand and ignore them.  If you're the sort of person who puts off making phone calls because you're afraid of the response you might get, who postpones tackling a project because you don't know where or how to start, or who focuses endlessly on the trivial tasks at work because the big, really important one pushes you out of your comfort zone, you might be what we call an 'avoidance coper': you've learned to respond to the pressures in your life by trying to avoid thinking or doing anything about them.  This might work in the short term, but all you're doing is compounding the problem and making yourself miserable.  

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Pick it up and let it go, Part 1

One of the scales in the Challenge of Change Resilience Profile measures Sensitivity.  We usually talk about this in conjunction with the Detached Coping scale: people who are high on both have what we call Detached Compassion, which means that they can pick up quickly and accurately how other people feel but don't themselves become identified or involved with the emotions.  

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