We generally attach relaxation to particular times, such as weekends or the summer holiday. If you only relax on these occasions then the rest of the time (in other words, most of your life) you must be tense. Unfortunately relaxing is often confused with being laid back, and that usually implies not working efficiently. So we end up ‘thinking in twos’ – I’m either relaxed or I’m tense. The solution is not to find some mid-point between them but to have a third point, which is best described as being alert.

Participants in the Challenge of Change Resilience training sessions spend time at the beginning generating objectives for the day, and a common theme that emerges from the exercise is about sleep. One of the defining features of stress is disturbed sleep, and people immediately recognise the scenario of struggling to get to sleep, waking at three in the morning and being unable to get back to sleep, and then feeling shattered even if they’ve then slept for 8 hours.

How often are we told we need to prioritise if we’re to be efficient? Learning to prioritise is important, but we need to understand what’s required. Prioritising is usually thought of as deciding what the most important things are, moving them to the top of the ‘to do’ list, but that’s actually the second step. Prioritising is about first deciding what isn’t important. Do you have an in-tray? 

One of the consequences of a recession is a greater need for evidence when making decisions about how to spend a diminishing budget. It might require very little thought: someone comes up with a machine that produces the widgets you manufacture in half the time at less cost, and you were having to replace the old machines anyway. In other cases the decision might be more difficult, especially with training in ‘soft’ skills.

The New Zealand Herald recently carried an article claiming that “showing your anger rather than repressing emotions is the key to a successful life at home and at work”. The article reports research by George Vaillant at Harvard, who opines that people “think of anger as a dangerous emotion and are encouraged to practise ‘positive thinking’, but we find that approach is ultimately a damaging denial of dreadful reality”.